So yesterday I took a day off. It's sleep related. That is i haven't been sleeping too great since i got back from the UK and the wedding last weekend...well lets just say the getting home at 8am and not feeling too sharp sort of put me back in UK time. So, being 12 hours out of sync I didn't sleep Monday night at all. Nice that I'm employed and don't work for myself I guess.
Part of the whole nonsense is due to lack of motivation though. I'm getting a bit tired of being that cog in the machine, the machine that seems to line my bosses pockets with cash and allows his family to wander around every day with no need for a 'job' and yet spend like royalty. That sort of pisses me off. They're nice people but I am a bit of a closet commie...Why is one persons time worth so much less or more than anybody else's? That guy cleaning the municipal toilets? He works damn hard, has a fucking horrible job and gets paid fuck all for the privilege. Nice. I sit on my arse either in a car or at a desk, and solve / sell technical solutions to engineers who facilitate huge process plants which in turn make kzillions. It's all fucked up. I get paid far more than the guy that cleans the toilets but i'm sure he works harder.
Also I'm feeling a little trapped - and here is the flip side. All I really want to do is travel and meet people i want to meet, have more than 20 days 'holiday' to do so and at the same time help people. Easy right? Well...No...Because the real twist is that I want to be able to give everyone i choose just a little hand up the hillside, a few dollars to get them going. To do that, I have to have far too much money and so the wheel of misfortune begins again. Truth is..If i get to that position of wealth will I think like this or will I employ somebody with a few cells that work to make more money for me? OOOPS! That's the wheel of misfortune again! Damn it. The self perpetuating bullshit..I'm going to have a cup of tea and think about what I'm going to do at the gym later...
No comments:
Post a Comment